When solitude turns.

I love being alone. However, in the midst of enforced isolation, I now take less and less pleasure in it.

It makes sense. No one wants to do something just because they have to. Half the fun of being alone when you don’t have to be is knowing that you could be doing a million other things with a million other people, but choosing to spend that time with yourself. I’m still grateful to be in a position of relative freedom. I can do what I want when I like, and there’s nothing like that. I’ve discovered, though, that with an abundance of time comes mental pickiness. I could’ve read at least ten books in the time I’ve been sequestered on my own, but I’m finding it hard to get through even one. Friends of mine have said the same thing. Now that we have all this time, none of us wants to do the things we used to struggle to find time for. It’s as ridiculous as it is logical. These activities are no longer treats of stolen time we get to indulge in around the planned mundanities of life. The indulgent has become mundane.

What, then, is the antidote?

Well… for me, it’s been the things that, if life were normal, I would have to do. Writing, for example, is something I would and will do no matter what. I need to keep writing if I don’t want to wake up one day to find I’m suddenly terrible at it. But other things like searching for and doing jobs definitely keep me tethered to reality even though reality has changed. I may not always remember what day it is, but I make a point each day of being productive in big and small ways. Doing the dishes. Working on commission. Cleaning the cat-box and sweeping up after. Each activity is a peg that keeps the tent from blowing away.

What’s keeping you sane these days?

X

4 thoughts on “When solitude turns.

  1. I find myself reading the kinds of books I wouldn’t usually opt for, and only allowing myself short stretches with them. It seems to me you’ve already cracked this question – variety is my antidote. No job that lasts longer than a maximum of 2 hours, and no two jobs of the same type back-to-back. I also keep thinking about what a lot of stories we’re going to have to look back on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, absolutely! There are already manuscripts being purchased for books celebrating medical professionals, comic guides to life in the time of emergency, etc. I also follow some bloggers who are documenting their days in quarantine as we speak. We’re definitely living in a time ripe with stories.

      I also keep switching from task to task. It’s nice to be able to do that. I guess we all just keep doing this until the world repairs itself 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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