Time Hole.

I definitely didn’t think the order to stay indoors would effect me as much as it has. I like hanging out with my friends, but I also really love spending time on my own. Maybe it’s an only-child thing? Actually, it’s probably an introvert thing. Or both. Anyway, I didn’t think it would be a big deal. But I nearly had a conniption when I woke up yesterday and realized it was already Wednesday. I actually struggled to remember what I had been doing the day before.

I said in my last post that I teach ESL online. However, I haven’t had any classes in the last few days. I’m still quite new to the platform, so it’s less likely that I’ll get booked to teach, which means I’ve mostly been left to my own devices each day. One thing this period of self-isolation has taught me: I need to get better at managing my time. It’s easy to do when I’ve got something to plan my day around (like teaching). But sometimes, when I don’t have a plan for the day, I end up sitting in the middle of the room thinking about all the things I want to get done… and doing none of them. Or only doing bits and pieces for a few minutes at a time before saying, “I’ll just watch a YouTube video,” and the next time I look at the clock it’s 5 hours later.

Today, the things I want to do are:

1. Read. Right now, I’m reading You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine, by Alexandra Kleeman. I was soooo excited back in February when I finished a book in a day and a half because it felt like an important part of me had come back. Now, in the midst of self-isolation, I’ve reverted to being scatter-brained and reading only a few pages at a time before my shamefully short attention span expires and it’s YouTube time. I am determined to finish this book before Saturday ends.

2. Write. I’m working on a new short story, which is exciting. I’ve also started a new novel, but I want to see where the short goes first. It’s hard to explain how delighted I am by the discovery that I can actually write more things, hahaha. I’ll probably write a post delving into this more deeply because… Yowza, what a feeling.

3. Exercise. In my YouTube trawling, I’ve found some great videos of exercises you can do at home and NOT in front of a massive window where strangers on the street can walk by and watch you drown in your own sweat. I really want to take advantage of this.

4. Organize my stuff. I have piles of clothes. I also have a broken dresser, no wardrobe, and a gang of moths who truly don’t want me to have nice things. I also have a cat who likes to sleep in said dresser on top of my clothes. Last week, he threw up in there and it was the grossest wake-up call EvAr. I’ve found hiding places for some of my clothes, but not all of them. I also have bags full o papers (old mail/manuscript pages/notes/useless garbage) and the tiniest goddamned shredder known to man. I also-ALSO have piles of books lying around, but no extra shelf space at the moment. Why stuff? How can fix? I need to buckle down and Marie Kondo my life.

5. Write a blog post. Hey! I did one!

Really though, I know it’s no crime not to get everything on your to-do list finished. Especially in a time of global crisis. In fact, this is probably the perfect impetus for all of us to figure some things out. And if figuring things out means falling into a time hole where nothing and no one exists for a while, do it. Who knows… it might help.

How are you getting on during all of this? I hope you and yours are safe, healthy, and able to remember what day it is.

Talk soon.

2 thoughts on “Time Hole.

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