If my cats had online dating profiles

My cats are ridiculous, and I’m pretty sure that, even if they could, neither one would have a dating profile because the other one would get insanely jealous if they did.

Case in point.

Case in point.

But I’m gonna give this a go anyway. The idea for this post was stolen directly from Kristen’s blog. I saw it and knew immediately that I had to do it.


Look out, ladies — this guy snores!

Name: Cornelius aka Neal
Age: 5 yrs old in October
Coat: Black, with some small white patches here and there (chest, paws; more white streaks have shown up with age).
Best features: Just look at that handsome face!
Personality: Cuddle-bug πŸ˜€ Attention and food-seeking. Very talkative, too! He croaks like an old man who’s fed up with youngins and their loud music.
Likes: Sitting/laying on the books/magazines/phones/clothes you are trying to use. Burrowing into piles of things. Chewing through electrical cords (and not contributing financially to their replacement). Grooming mommy. Eating. Talking. Wrestling with Choko. Looking out of windows.
Dislikes: Getting smacked by Choko. Getting yelled at. When there’s no more food. Loud noises. Closed doors.
Purrs most: When he’s getting scratched on the chin/neck or being nuzzled, or laying on my chest.


Name: Choko
Age: 3 yrs old in August
Coat: Grey and orange tabby stripes/coloring, with a white chest and belly.
Best features: Her coloring, and her silent meow (THE cutest thing ever).
Personality: Badass, but can be a sweetheart. Has become much more interested in cuddling lately (perhaps my temporary absence made her heart grow fonder?).
Likes: Escorting mommy to the bathroom, then guarding the door. Spying on the neighbors. Sweeping with her paws. Standing in front of the computer screen. Kneading bare flesh (a lot). Sitting in companionable silence with the fox doorstop. Wrestling with Neal. Cuddling with Neal. Being held by mommy (this one’s a recent shocker!!!).
Dislikes: When Neal invades her personal space without invitation. Being told to get down off of countertops. Getting the crud cleaned from her eyes.
Purrs most: Pretty much all the time. When I speak to her, when I pet her, when Neal grooms her, when she’s rubbing her face against something with a hard edge, when she’s sitting in a comfortable position, when she’s lying in the sun… Choko is actually just an engine that I glued a bunch of fur onto.

I love my little monsters. They’re a handful for sure, but I’d never trade ’em πŸ™‚

In other news, I had my first Sunday roast yesterday (!!!) at The Jolly Butchers in Stoke Newington. I ordered the vegetarian version. I’m not a vegetarian — it just sounded SO good (and it was). Instead of meat, I had fried goat cheese with butternut squash and some kind of nut mixed in. No pictures. I wolfed that gorgeous meal down in no time flat. There were also carrots, green beans, roasted potatoes, and *bumbaddabumbumbumbumBUM* YORKSHIRE PUDDING (which I hadn’t tried until just then)! Everything was delicioussssss.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

11 thoughts on “If my cats had online dating profiles

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