I’ve met a number of Englishmen so far (as you can imagine). But last night was the first time one of them teased me about my accent. I went to the on-campus grocery with some friends on a wine run, but found a brand of cider I wanted to try. They were in packs of 4, held together by those environmentally unfriendly plastic rings that are the bane of ducks everywhere. I looked at the price and got excited. £1.25? For 4 cans of cider?! What an insanely (and suspiciously) good deal! Hi. My name is Gianni… and I’m a bonehead. I grabbed the ciders and went up to the register. Quick aside: more often than not, I get a cute cashier when I buy stuff from this shop. The one who helped me last night reminded me of a more handsome Daley with braces, mostly b/c he wore these sweet, black frames around his eyes. I am absolutely in the right country. ANYWAY… when I got up there with my cider, he asked if I wanted a bag for them. I said “Sure.” He laughed, shook his head, and parroted back, “Suuuure,” with an emphasis on the ur. I started laughing and asked, “Is my accent ridiculous?” and he said, “No! I love it!” (and I of course had to stop myself from immediately leaping across the counter and into his arms, but I digress).
So here’s where the I-am-dumb part comes in: He tells me the price is £5. I’m like, saywhuhh? Then I think about it and decide (much to his disappointment) that I don’t want to buy them after all. I offer to put them back and get a good look at the price when I do. As I suspected, in the tiiiiiiiniest print possible, the word “Each” is printed on the label above £1.25. I don’t know if this is true for the entire United States, so I’ll just speak from personal experience. As far as I can remember, in the American cities I’ve shopped in, you are indeed able to purchase alcohol in individual bottles and cans. But they are also displayed individually, as in not part of a plastic-ringed set that you then remove the desired number of bottles/cans from. So, instead of getting the deal of a lifetime, I actually succeeded in demonstrating an embarrassing lack of observation skills. But hey, I’ve been enlightened.
So I pulled one can out of the pack I’d been holding — and even though I knew it was the appropriate thing to do, I couldn’t help feeling like I was getting away with something. That’s right; I’m a criminal f%*#ing mastermind. If you hear about any cider heists on the BBC News, y’all know the Robin Hood responsible. I brought my lonesome little can up front and explained my faux pas. Luckily the cashier was a nice guy and didn’t give me any grief about it. I said to him, “I’m buying this. For real this time,” and he grinned and said “Fuuurrreal.” Hahahaha. From now on, I’ll be flinging American-accented phrases around like confetti in a parade. There are definitely perks to being a foreigner 😉
Hooray for marriage equality in North Carolina!!! 😀